Money money MoneY

I'm feeling very guilty.

In this recent months of dire straights and financial difficulties (where depending on the bank ) the standard variable rate home loan is at 9.58 per cent , BF and I have been spending like there is no tmr.

Things spent over the past few weeks -

1. Golf set - for him (from me)
2. A golf putter - for him
3. A golf driver - for him
4. Snowboarding boots - for him
5. Snowboarding pants - for me
6. Snowboarding hoodie - for me
7. Snowboard bags - from me for us
8. Flight tickets to Japan for 2 (from him for us)
9. Accommodation deposit for Japan for 2 (from him for us)
10. Leather boots - for me
11. Snowboarding trip - Mt Buller for 2
12. A Hugo Boss suit - for him (I'm expensing 1/2)
13. A Hugo Boss shirt - for him
14. 5 sessions with the personal trainer - for me
15. Some beauty products purchase - Kose, Clinique, Benefit

This does not cover my unexpected trip to Malaysia and the medical and other miscellaneous expenses that came with.

On top of that, my best friend is coming to Mel later on for a month, a mates wedding, a few more snowboarding trips, our trip to Europe coming up in October, trip to Malaysia next Easter for the wedding preps and the trip later the same yr for our wedding.

On top of that we both want new snowboarding jackets and have yet to finalise our tix and accommodations for Bruges and Amsterdam and football tix for a Premier League match in England. OMG!

Don't get me wrong - it is not like we are strapped for cash and we have all this debt on credit - we don't. The credit rating is still pristine and we are not struggling to pay the mortgage + bills. We also put away money monthly although saying that, without all these "expenses", the bank balance would have been much healthier if you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah - I know that we can't take it to the grave yadda yadda but perhaps.. mayhaps.. hmmm..

Yeah it will be nice to have a bigger place but that means getting a bigger mortgage. Or if we go down the other track of saying it will be nice to go out on every weekend like what I used to do before, it literally means drinking the money away PLUS most probably feeling like shit the next day.

It is a lifestyle choice now isn't it?

Living in "sin"

Coming from an Asian background, it was never in my grand scheme of things to feasibly think that there would be a point in time in my very degenerate future that I would be living in sin (or so would my relatives think if they ever find out) before *gasp horror* marriage.

*Yes*, I miiggght have on a few occasions (in my terrible 20's) mentioned to my folks that living together was a much more appealing option rather than being shackled in matrimony but never in their mind (and mine!) did I ever think that I would be one of those who would. I was a "good girl" after all ... albeit a few discretion's here and there.

Fast forward 10 yrs later and I am now very much ensconced in a rship, my parents are aware that we are living together (my relatives do not, his do) and after close to a yr of being...I now understand why a lot of live-in-couples never do make it down the aisle of matrimony. Hell, I would be happy to remain as is if it wasn't for these reasons:

1. The disapproval from my parents would be thaaaat high
2. I already have the rock on my finger

In my opinion, (of which I completely understand) is that lot of my friends who are in these said rships are that either 1 or both parties are afraid. After all, why rock the status quo? It is an interesting discussion this one? I mean, why is it that we are afraid of change? My rationality is, if one can get along NOW..living together, seeing each others good and bad, getting used to each others idiosyncrasy etc, why not make it permanent?

Yes, I understand the argument where it might be suggested that ppl change - but hell, what is one (or both parties) looking for? Looking (or waiting) for something better to come along perhaps? It simply does not make sense!

Furthermore, if one is to bring a child into the equation - yes, I understand that its all "acceptable' now for 2 ppl to have kids without marriage but I personally am old-fashioned that way. No kids without marriage. Side note - we still haven't decided whether we want kids at this point.

Anyways, yes - I am living in sin... here.

No - I think if I was still in Malaysia, it would not have happened. *shhh..ppl will talk after all!!*