I've been browsing through for my usual lazy Sunday blog reads and stumbled across this write up by a popular Singaporean blogger.
To cut the whole story short
- She is currently living with her boyfriend who is Caucasian.
- She is wanting to settle down, have the big wedding, diamond ring, mixed kids etc
- He is saying that since they are living together already, why rock the boat as in his own words "We are as good as married"
- Due to that, she in her mind thinks that they are "engaged"
- She has logged on HIS Facebook account and changed his rship status to engaged.
- And has accepted and both Facebook status now reads as "engaged".
But SERIOUSLY!
I don't know really. Is marriage really needed these days? I have been doing quite a bit of thinking now that it has come to a point where I have to start planning the logistics of my own. I have 12 mere months before I become a Mrs (I am planning to keep the Ms thank-you-very-much) and even though it is not freaking me out *yet*, a small part of me does wonder sometimes. After all, I have been independent and living on my own since 16, I have travelled the world, I have/am working abroad, am used to calling the shots.
I already see changes in pattern.
It is not so easy wanting to just drop everything and get away from it all. I have the other half to think of (living together has its responsibilities).
I cannot simply just say "Honey, I am wanting to go off now, see ya later!"
The old (single) me would have just went away without care and reason.
Getting married is not simply about the wedding, it is about the marriage.
It is about compromise.
I have started thinking about the wedding prep though; am still uncertain whether I will have a celeb here in Melbourne but the slightly bigger traditional do will be held in Malaysia. The guest list here will be just family but the traditional wedding will also still be small for Asian standards. Nothing more than 180 ppl with only my close friends invited and the rest being from my parent's guest list.
The date has been set, the countdown now starts.
8 comments:
hey, tq coz reading my blog... selamat berpuasa... ;p
how many carat diamond ring are u settling for?
congrats gal!!
Dont be nervous ok.. Marriage is a huge step to take. I was in your position months ago. Co-habiting and marriage is totally different. Once you tie the knot, you'd know.
May you be blessed with lots of happiness dear. :)
Haha thats funny wei- the other blogger I mean.
Marriage is really nothing to do with the wedding.That is what I think, because other than my dress, I hated my wedding. However, this might sound strange, but we had a much better relationship now that we are married. Maybe because we know now that we have to work on it, not being able to leave on short notice.
I still have my whims sometimes. Every 3 years I get the itch - I call it the moving countries itch.For the past 10 years I have kept some money in travellers cheques so that I am able to just hop on a plane with my luggage at short notice.
And that was my compromise/sacrifice when I got married.
PS: My wedding in malaysia had 180ppl - with only about 40 of them being our friends. The rest were family members,that was how big my family is!! Not even my parents' friends were invited!
BabyGD - How is Paris/Rome?
Gravt - Wedding bands are suppose to be simple me dear ..there is no need to impress to keep up with the Jones's ;)
ST - Thanks babe. Not nervous at all *yet* - but I am surrounded by heaps of mates who are recently separated, more anxiety .. oh well..
Mili - I know! Typical Singaporean kiasuness if you ask me. I mean, its different being ASKED as opposed to being "engaged" in ones mind alone, each to their own I reckon.
Do you still keep your $$ in travellers checks? Lol. And you DO have a big family :)
congrats!! i love the idea of marriage but i HATE smug marrieds :)
Chi - Never you fear, a smug married I will NEVER be.. eeeks!
Hi Mirabella.
Singaporeans operate on a slightly different level from us. For the women there, the marriage esp to a kwai loh is very important. I'm not quite sure why there's a need for that.
Some people have a strange sense of definition of relationships. I have a friend who's girlfriend said that they are not girlfriend and boyfriend until she has a ring on her finger!
If that's so, what's the definition of being engaged then? .... I wanted to ask her.
Congrats on the wedding and I do hope your wedding plans have started and that they will go on smoothly all the way till you have a perfect wedding.
I can totally understand the 2 wedding thing. It may be more of a hassle but it seems to make everyone happier and everyone gets more of what they want rather than feeling that they had to compromise.
Feel free to drop me a note any time if you need contacts, comments, thoughts etc on the wedding.
Thanks for reading my blog and I'll certainly be following the progress of your wedding plans.
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