Love is ....

You have to love a man who is able to read or cheer you up when you are feeling low.

So Thursday last week was a low point for me, it involves some work issues which I can't quite discuss here but basically someone was trying to boss me around and I wasn't up for it (unlike my usual feisty self) so I kept professional but it annoyed the hell out of me.

I did vent to BF, and the next day to my mentor at work but it still gets to me.

Anyways, I come back home and BF has got my flowers to cheer me up.
I am a lucky girl indeed to have someone to support me indeed.

Relationship quondrum

Image courtesy of Nataliedee.com

Am rewatching the movie " He's Just Not into You" - and after re-reading the same titled book, it had me thinking...

"If a guy really likes you, he will always make an exception to the rules"

I have been in several (long term) relationships, and 2 marriage proposals (1 which I actually accepted ...hence the current smug married status) and as cliche as it might sound - that statement is so true.

I mean, lets face facts here... unless the guy is really butt-ugly, his lil black book would be chocker full with numbers of eligible single ladies. Seeing that there are more women than men to a ratio of around 3-1, would you blame a guy for wanting to continue to be foot loose and fancy free? Go to any club or pub on a Fri or Sat night and there is no short of women on the prowl for a "soul mate" and men wanting to pick up.

Lets be honest here, it is indeed slim pickings for a women once you hit a particular age range (and before the idea gets shot down, let me explain..)

• Its coz a women usually wants to settle down with a man who can care for them and be cared for, in short - successful or earns enough so that one can live comfortably;


• Be of a particular age bracket (usually older but the recent Cougar phenomena is interesting..)


• And has to be decent looking ..you know, so that you can show him off to your friends..).

In reality, the older you get - your pool gets smaller - say you are 35.. you might want someone who is in the 30 - 40 bracket, but these same men want a younger model.. hence you are stuck with the 40-50 bracket range...

Furthermore, men in these said older bracket are more than likely have gone through a previous marriage or long term rship before .. so baggage in terms of kids, alimony, an ex-wife/partner usually comes as part and parcel. Hence, if you yourself have never been married or do not have kids, do you want to be saddled down with someone who does? Its a difficult question indeed.

I personally do not think I could handle it..

I have broken up with a guy (I wasn't into him anyways) because when we hooked up, he said he was single but I later on got the confession that he was separated (he has since divorced and remarried), and I have also broken up with a guy who wanted to get too serious too quickly. Call me picky, but I believe in gut instinct.

Yes, some might say I am still on the honeymoon stage, and it all changes when kids get into the picture but it doesn't have to when you don't want children right?

Whirlwind courtship

In one of our more relaxed weekends chilling in front of the telly and with a nice cuppa mocha + Baileys in front of us, I mentioned to BF that ours is a whirlwind courtship.

All in all, BF and I have started dating, moved in together and are getting married all in a span of less that 3 yrs. Breakdown being

Met BF - Jan 2007
Inform our respective parents of each others existence - May 2007
BF ask me to move in - July 2007
I unofficially move in i.e I spend most of my time at his but keep my things at my own place - Aug 2007
I move in with BF - Nov 2007
BF meets my parents (officially and face to face; not by phone or Skyped) - Dec 2007
BF ask my parents for my permission to ask for my hand - Jan 2008
ENGAGED - Jan 2008
I meet BF's first relatives - Feb 2008
I meet BF's parents (officially) - Nov 2008
SET THE DATE - Nov 2008

It is now less than 3 1/2 months before we do actually get married and the fact is, BF and I are already like married. I wouldnt really condone the whole living with someone before getting married thing, well - not in Asia where it would be very frowned upon anyways but BF and I had discussions way before and it was with a very strong understanding that our rship was to head somewhere that I moved into his in the first place. Moving in with someone was a very big step for me ~ as much as I claim to be Westernised, I still am quite the Asian at heart - and I hold these same Asian values dearly the more I get and live here.

The thing is, here I planning to say my vows of commitment and forever-after.
The thing is, I've been a nearly-wed - being with a someone long for so long that ppl think that you are bound for the alter - and enough that you yourself think you will be with the person - but at the last minute, it never materialises and you are left in the lurch and trying to pick up the pieces of a broken relationship.

In less that 3 1/2 months, I will be with someone who does want to be with me.
And for that, I am thankful.

p/s: Yes, this is a sappy blogpost - but I am entitled to these moods occasionally.

Shall I stay - or shall I go?

Here is the million dollar question...

How do you know whether the guy you have just went on a date with -really likes you; or if he is simply playing games?


Well, my gauge has always been what happens after the date.

• If he calls or leaves a text message after leaving you - he is a keeper.
• If he calls within 2-3 days - he is a .player.
• If he calls after the 3 days (or non at all..but most do ..lol) - he is a loser.

Yeah, I know my gauge mark is quite high and not all men will be able to live up to it but you know what? In these time and days - there ARE still some men who take the time send a simple text - a text to thank you and perhaps say that they enjoyed your company. It is little things like these that makes a girl feels special.

Fortunately, BF did - and he passed the "first" test effectively.

And see where his simple gesture ended us up at? :)

Cheesed off *somewhat*

I'm feeling quite irritated - things that are somehow outside my control but yet, I know its because some mates mean well.

But seriously, the last thing I want at this point is ppl being getting rubbed the wrong way.


Will just stand back for a bit to see how things go - 11 more months to go and the issues are cropping up already!


Off to Adelaide for a day trip on the red-eye. Work stress really isn't helping in this situation.Can't wait for the break!

Life lessons

I've been browsing through for my usual lazy Sunday blog reads and stumbled across this write up by a popular Singaporean blogger.

To cut the whole story short

1. She is currently living with her boyfriend who is Caucasian.
2. She is wanting to settle down, have the big wedding, diamond ring, mixed kids etc
3. He is saying that since they are living together already, why rock the boat as in his own words "We are as good as married"
4. Due to that, she in her mind thinks that they are "engaged"
5. She has logged on HIS Facebook account and changed his rship status to engaged.
6. And has accepted and both Facebook status now reads as "engaged".

But SERIOUSLY!

I don't know really. Is marriage really needed these days? I have been doing quite a bit of thinking now that it has come to a point where I have to start planning the logistics of my own. I have 12 mere months before I become a Mrs (I am planning to keep the Ms thank-you-very-much) and even though it is not freaking me out *yet*, a small part of me does wonder sometimes. After all, I have been independent and living on my own since 16, I have travelled the world, I have/am working abroad, am used to calling the shots.

I already see changes in pattern.

It is not so easy wanting to just drop everything and get away from it all. I have the other half to think of (living together has its responsibilities).

I cannot simply just say "Honey, I am wanting to go off now, see ya later!"

The old (single) me would have just went away without care and reason.

Getting married is not simply about the wedding, it is about the marriage.

It is about compromise.

I have started thinking about the wedding prep though; am still uncertain whether I will have a celeb here in Melbourne but the slightly bigger traditional do will be held in Malaysia. The guest list here will be just family but the traditional wedding will also still be small for Asian standards. Nothing more than 180 ppl with only my close friends invited and the rest being from my parent's guest list.

The date has been set, the countdown now starts.

The hunt for the"perfect" ring

So BF and I started on the whole wedding prep by looking for the appropriate wedding bands this weekend. Fortunately, BF is not so fussy with the rest of the arrangements (he is leaving it up to me and my wedding planner aka mum), but he has in his mind very definite ideas on what the wedding bands should look like. We have also decided that we would not mind spending a little bit more on the rings which is fine by me as we are going to be using it for the rest of our life (touch wood - esp as we both are very anti-divorce).

Well, taking advantage of the long weekend holidays, we went around the Mel Little Collins area in the CBD and started on our research.

The aim - Wedding bands

Budget - Up to $5000 for 2 (around RM 14000)

Outlets visited - George Jensen, Tiffany & Co, Canturi

BF has taken a fancy on the Canturi "Comfort Band". The prob now is, my engagement ring is a solitaire and being a single stone, the wedding band has to be equally complimenting. I personally do not fancy a plain wedding band esp if one is paying quite a bit for it. I did try and liked their white gold "Upswift Band".

Next stop - Tiffany & Co. We immediately fell in love with their "Sheamerice" white gold band for him and it does come with a female version. However, the feminine version was overshadowed by my current band and we started looking around. The "Channel" 2mm complimented mine precisely (oh the sparkle!) but decided to head up to Georg Jensen ... but not before I eyed this gorgeous diamond 0.1 pendant which is on my "wish list" for the mo. ;)

At Georg Jensen .. we both liked the "Fusion" collection. BF doesn't want any diamonds on his, I am still contemplating my options but the 3 tone effect looks good on him whilst the 2 tone effect (yellow and white gold) suit me better as I have (and I say this without sounding like a vain pot but all of the sales ppl say it), long delicate fingers.

Heading to Chaddy tmr to look at more rings. Rather we do the research early than be stuck later on. Furthermore, it gives us more time to budget!

p/s: Yeah, BF and I are engaged. We got engaged over new yrs. He asked my dad for permission first. Its a good thing that he did too.. as apparently my dad was going to have a 1-on-1 if he didn't.. so he got brownie points for that.

Proposal venue - At my parents - His original plan was to do the whole she-bang thing back here but as he wanted to show them the ring, the wasn't any hoopla on it. :)

The ring - Platinum set, "Love Diamond" single solitaire from the C-Club (formerly Carat Club), Pavilion - KL

A *belated* Valentines post 2008

A month later is not too late to blog about Valentine's Day is it? Both BF (more on him in some other post) and I are extremely practical ppl. And even though it is nice to be "surprised" at work with flowers/chocs etc, personally, I rather we keep the money and use it for something else! Or be surprised on some other non related occasion.

Anyways, this yrs Valentine's was not even celebrated as I was away on yet another work trip. We did do the gift thing *surprisingly* this yr tho.

Anyways - this is what I got BF (to replace his XBox 360 that he was tiring off)

And this is what I got ....

Yeah, it is good to be practical sometimes! :)

Suprises!

There is nothing nicer than coming back home and being greeted by these :)